This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “We are told that the communism is already seen at the horizon.” Then, what is a horizon?”
We’re answering: “Horizon is an imaginary line which moves away each time you approach it.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What should we do if the Western borders of the USSR were opened?”
We’re answering: “Rush to Siberia at once in order not to be crushed in the stampede.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Will the police still exist when communism is built?”
We’re answering: “Of course, not. By that time, all citizens will have learned how to arrest themselves.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What to do if a man you don’t know takes a seat at your table in a pub and starts to sigh?”
We’re answering: “Immediately demand to stop the anti-Soviet propaganda.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Is it possible to build socialism in Switzerland?”
We’re answering: “It’s possible, but why? Did Switzerland really do something wrong to you?”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What shall we do if suddenly we feel a desire to work?”
We’re answering: “Just rest for a while on a sofa. It will pass.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why some people say that Hungarians love the Russians and hate the Americans?”
We’re answering: “Because Russians helped Hungarians to get rid of one totalitarian rule, but Americans don’t help to get rid of the other.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the easiest way to explain the meaning of the word ‘communism’?”
We’re answering: “By means of fists.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why did the man who shot at a government limousine on the Red Square miss the target?”
We’re answering: “Because citizens who happened to be next to him tried to wrest the gun from him and shouted, ‘Let me shoot!'”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What to do if vodka interferes with the job?”
We’re answering: “Get off the job.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?”
We’re answering: “At Lenin’s time, Russia was still only ankle-high in shit.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the duration of the workday in a socialist country?”
We’re answering: “Of course, it’s an eight-hour workday: from eight am to eight pm.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is an exchange of opinions?”
We’re answering: “When you walk into your boss’s office with your opinion and walk out with his.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Can a son of a General become a Marshal?”
We’re answering: “No, because every Marshal also has a son.”