“Son, your mother and I have something important to tell you. You were adopted.”
“I was? Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“You weren’t adopted then. Pack your things, your new parents will be here in an hour.”

A cranky woman, frustrated because her husband was once again late coming home, decided to leave a note that said, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.”

Curious about his reaction, she hid under the bed to observe.

Four cannibals apply for a job in a big corporation.
“Well,” says the boss, “if I hire you guys, you have to promise not to eat any of our staff.”
The cannibals promise that they will not eat anyone and get hired.
Everything goes well for a while, and one day the boss calls them into his office.

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years. He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor said, ‘Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.

A man is in court. The Judges says,”on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?”

“Guilty”, said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted “You dirty rat!” The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise.

Rumor got round that the bear kept a list of all the animals he plans to kill.
Scared and confused, the wolf went to confront the bear.

“Bear,” said wolf. “Do you really keep a list of all the animals you plan to kill?”

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door
“Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.”

A man has a wonderful horse, a good-looking one. But it also occasionally gets very dangerous and vicious. Causes tons of trouble breaks things and so on. So this man goes to the vet and asks what to do with this horse.