God was looking down on the earth and decided everything was too messed up to let it continue. He decided giving an ultimatum to humans would do the trick, so he called up who he thought were the three most important people on earth to tell them. God called up Angela Merkel, Vladimir Putin, and Donald Trump and told them that unless they could make the world a perfect place in three days, he was going to kill everyone.

Angela Merkel went back and addressed the EU. She said “I have good news and bad news. The good news is there is a God, but the bad news is that He will kill us all in three days unless we make the world perfect.”

Vladimir Putin went back and spoke to the Russian people. He said “I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is there is a God, and the worse news is He will kill us all in three days if we don’t make the world perfect.”

Donald Trump went back and tweeted “I have tremendous news! God thinks I am the most important person on earth, AND he told me we don’t have to worry about the November election!”