Yo mama is like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

Yo mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.

Yo mama has so many teeth missing, that it looks like her tongue is in jail.

Yo mama’s mouth is so big that she speaks in surround sound.

Yo mama is so grouchy that the McDonalds she works in doesn’t even serve Happy Meals.

You suck… yo mama does too, but she charges.

Yo mama is like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.

Yo mama is like Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.

Yo mama is like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.

Yo mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.

Yo mama is like the sun, look at her too long and you’ll go blind.

Yo mama is like a library, she’s open to the public.

Yo mama is like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.

Yo mama is like an ATM, open 24 hours.

Yo mama is like a bowling ball… round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.

Yo mama is like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.

Yo mama is like a Discover card, she gives cash back.

Yo mama is like a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.

Yo mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.

Yo mama is like a microwave, press one button and she’s hot.

Yo mama is like a mail box, open day and night.

Yo mama is like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.

Yo mama is like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.

Yo mama is like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.

Yo mama is like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.

Yo mama’s such a ho that “who’s your daddy?” is a multiple-choice question.

You’ll never be the man Yo mama was.

Yo mama… ’nuff said.

Yo mama is so lazy that she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama is so lazy that she’s got a remote control just to operate her remote!

Yo mama’s arms are so short that she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.

Yo mama’s lips are so big that Chapstick had to invent a spray.

Yo mama is so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

Yo mama is missing a finger and can’t count past nine.

Yo mama is so flat that she makes the walls jealous!

Yo mama’s gums are so black that she spits Yoo-hoo.

It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license – she couldn’t get used to the front seat!

Yo mama’s so fat that when she asked me “what’s up?” I said “your weight!”

Yo mama is twice the man you are.

Yo mama’s head is so small that she got her ear pierced and died.

Yo mama is cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

Yo mama is so stupid that she was born on Independence Day and can’t remember her birthday.