A drunk man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seating in the bar, walked to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him. He immediately apologized and explained,

“I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he said, “you even sound like her.”