Three guys are drinking at a bar.

After several drinks, the first one gets up to leave. “Where do you think you’re going?” asked the others. He says, “Guys I’d love to stay but I have to cut myself off. The last time we got together, I was so drunk. When I got home, I blew chunks right on the living room floor in front of my wife and my in-laws.”

“That’s nothing,” says one of the others. “The last time we got drunk I crashed my car – into a police cruiser! I still don’t have my license back.”

“You think that’s bad?” says the last guy. “I was so drunk that I took my mistress back to my place and forgot my wife was home!”

Just then the first guy interrupts the other two. “Guys, you don’t understand. Chunks is my dog.”